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Main
Date: 09 Sep 2006 08:06:42
From: The Hammer
Subject: A very important golf related post
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Have you ever been in a golf cart and went over a bimp and felt a pain
that made you want to scream and yell every four letter word known to
man. Well, I bet this has happened to more than one of you. It is
called hemmorhoids. Something many of us have. Something that has
ruined many a day. Something that has and can ruin many a round of
golf. It can be embarassing to talk about, it really shouldn't.
Almost everyone has at least one bout of these devils over the course
of their life.
Now I once had a bad case of hemmorhoids a while back. They bled so
bad, I thought I was dying. I even named a golf tourament after them.
And they came back every so often, but I am proud to say the little
devils are gone and have been gone for the last year.
Here is the answer. And this is 100% serious. The cure for me was
given by a famous local alternative health practioner. I am not saying
it will work for you, I am not prescibing this for any of you, as
whatever you decide to do health wise is up to you and in consultation
with health providers you trust. I am just telling you what worked
for me and practically every patient this particular practioner treats.
1. Take potato peelings and place them on the affected area. Keep them
there for several hours
2. Take fresh cut garlic, not the powdered stuff, and place them on
the affected area. Keep it there for several hours
3. Garlic enemas. A teaspoon of garlic administered in a warm tap
water emema
3. Vitamin E suppositories daily
4. High Fiber diet. Daily dose of Metamucil or Citracel
5. Warm tub baths daily
One of my best friends had rhoids so bad, he was ready to give up all
conventional remedies and go for surgery. I had him use this
treatment, they are gone. I mean gone 100%
So why go through life misireable. Why worry that your friend who is
driving that cart might go over a bump. Why wonder if you take a hard
swing, you are going to exacerbate the rhoid and have the sensation of
a spike going up your tail. There are cures. There are surgical ones,
and there are alternative ones. You don't have to be a victum to these
hanging monsters anymore. I know it can be embarassing, this is one of
those things folks don't want to admit or talk about. There are cures
out there, you don't have to put up with this. I am giving you what
worked for me. Hope it works for some of you.
Lets put Prep H out of business!
The Hammer
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Date: 09 Sep 2006 09:57:27
From: Dene
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
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ynaught wrote:
>
> Galic slices??? I'd hate to have to cram that stuff up my Strulowitz.
> Besides, I'd have to remove it everytime I needed to take a Schoenberg.
Oh so clever, Mr. Anonymous.
-Greg
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Date: 09 Sep 2006 16:49:59
From: ynaught
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
"The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com > wrote in message
news:1157814402.138288.48770@m79g2000cwm.googlegroups.com...
> Have you ever been in a golf cart and went over a bimp and felt a pain
> that made you want to scream and yell every four letter word known to
> man. Well, I bet this has happened to more than one of you. It is
> called hemmorhoids. Something many of us have. Something that has
> ruined many a day. Something that has and can ruin many a round of
> golf. It can be embarassing to talk about, it really shouldn't.
> Almost everyone has at least one bout of these devils over the course
> of their life.
>
> Now I once had a bad case of hemmorhoids a while back. They bled so
> bad, I thought I was dying. I even named a golf tourament after them.
> And they came back every so often, but I am proud to say the little
> devils are gone and have been gone for the last year.
>
> Here is the answer. And this is 100% serious. The cure for me was
> given by a famous local alternative health practioner. I am not saying
> it will work for you, I am not prescibing this for any of you, as
> whatever you decide to do health wise is up to you and in consultation
> with health providers you trust. I am just telling you what worked
> for me and practically every patient this particular practioner treats.
>
> 1. Take potato peelings and place them on the affected area. Keep them
> there for several hours
>
> 2. Take fresh cut garlic, not the powdered stuff, and place them on
> the affected area. Keep it there for several hours
>
> 3. Garlic enemas. A teaspoon of garlic administered in a warm tap
> water emema
>
> 3. Vitamin E suppositories daily
>
> 4. High Fiber diet. Daily dose of Metamucil or Citracel
>
> 5. Warm tub baths daily
Galic slices??? I'd hate to have to cram that stuff up my Strulowitz.
Besides, I'd have to remove it everytime I needed to take a Schoenberg.
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Date: 09 Sep 2006 08:58:09
From: The Hammer
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
sfb wrote:
> How does one run over a bimp? Aren't those things flying around full of
> helium gas?
make fun as you may, but there is a very simple solution to a problem
that plagues many folks, yet they are too embarassed to talk about.
Natural remedies work. Work better in many cases than conventional
methods. Hemmorhoids are no laughing matter. I bet there are hundreds
in this group that deal with it. Why not discuss it openly. Because
this is a golf forum, and nothing can wreck a decent round of golf
quicker then a sudden Rhoid attack.
The Hammer
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Date: 09 Sep 2006 16:28:33
From: Brian Foster
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
Hammer, had a guy in college who was the trainer for the football team. He
lived in our fraternity and everyone was always going to him for sports
related injuries and fixes. 1/2 the time he gave you stuff that was great
(flexall, other liniments) and 1/2 the time he was pulling you leg (gave
guys pills one time, and they all pissed blue for a couple of days).
I remember one time a guy came in and asked him if he had anything for jock
itch. The guy had it really bad, 1/2 way to his knees.
So he reaches into his desk and pulls out an unmarked plastic container and
says, "Yeah, rub this stuff allover it a couple of times a day and it will
clear right up".
Kid thanks him and leaves the room. We asked him what was in the container?
He said "Mink oil". I asked him, "like the stuff you use to waterproof your
shoes?" He says yeah. We all roared in laughter knowing the pledge was down
the hall rubbing mink oil all over his jock itch.
Funny thing, the kids jock itch went away.......
"The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com > wrote in message
news:1157817488.933447.270170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
>
> sfb wrote:
>> How does one run over a bimp? Aren't those things flying around full of
>> helium gas?
>
> make fun as you may, but there is a very simple solution to a problem
> that plagues many folks, yet they are too embarassed to talk about.
>
> Natural remedies work. Work better in many cases than conventional
> methods. Hemmorhoids are no laughing matter. I bet there are hundreds
> in this group that deal with it. Why not discuss it openly. Because
> this is a golf forum, and nothing can wreck a decent round of golf
> quicker then a sudden Rhoid attack.
>
> The Hammer
>
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Date: 09 Sep 2006 12:08:00
From: The Hammer
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
fiveiron@webtv.net wrote:
> sounds simple enough.I was wondering which - irish or sweet potato
> peels?
>
> >m h o
> > v =83e
Never thought about sweet potatos. They have a lot of antioxidents,
bet they might just work.
Five iron, you a brilliant dude
the Hammer
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Date: 09 Sep 2006 12:51:49
From:
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
sounds simple enough.I was wondering which - irish or sweet potato
peels?
>m h o
> v =83e
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Date: 11 Sep 2006 09:55:00
From: MnMikew
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
"The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com > wrote in message
news:1157817488.933447.270170@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> Natural remedies work. Work better in many cases than conventional
> methods.
Lemmie quess, You have Kevin Trudeau's "Natural Cures" book?
> Hemmorhoids are no laughing matter. I bet there are hundreds
> in this group that deal with it.
>
We do. Everytime you post.
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Date: 09 Sep 2006 11:15:18
From: sfb
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
How does one run over a bimp? Aren't those things flying around full of
helium gas?
"The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com > wrote in message
news:1157814402.138288.48770@m79g2000cwm.googlegroups.com...
> Have you ever been in a golf cart and went over a bimp and felt a pain
> that made you want to scream and yell every four letter word known to
> man. Well, I bet this has happened to more than one of you. It is
> called hemmorhoids. Something many of us have. Something that has
> ruined many a day. Something that has and can ruin many a round of
> golf. It can be embarassing to talk about, it really shouldn't.
> Almost everyone has at least one bout of these devils over the course
> of their life.
>
> Now I once had a bad case of hemmorhoids a while back. They bled so
> bad, I thought I was dying. I even named a golf tourament after them.
> And they came back every so often, but I am proud to say the little
> devils are gone and have been gone for the last year.
>
> Here is the answer. And this is 100% serious. The cure for me was
> given by a famous local alternative health practioner. I am not saying
> it will work for you, I am not prescibing this for any of you, as
> whatever you decide to do health wise is up to you and in consultation
> with health providers you trust. I am just telling you what worked
> for me and practically every patient this particular practioner treats.
>
> 1. Take potato peelings and place them on the affected area. Keep them
> there for several hours
>
> 2. Take fresh cut garlic, not the powdered stuff, and place them on
> the affected area. Keep it there for several hours
>
> 3. Garlic enemas. A teaspoon of garlic administered in a warm tap
> water emema
>
> 3. Vitamin E suppositories daily
>
> 4. High Fiber diet. Daily dose of Metamucil or Citracel
>
> 5. Warm tub baths daily
>
>
>
> One of my best friends had rhoids so bad, he was ready to give up all
> conventional remedies and go for surgery. I had him use this
> treatment, they are gone. I mean gone 100%
>
> So why go through life misireable. Why worry that your friend who is
> driving that cart might go over a bump. Why wonder if you take a hard
> swing, you are going to exacerbate the rhoid and have the sensation of
> a spike going up your tail. There are cures. There are surgical ones,
> and there are alternative ones. You don't have to be a victum to these
> hanging monsters anymore. I know it can be embarassing, this is one of
> those things folks don't want to admit or talk about. There are cures
> out there, you don't have to put up with this. I am giving you what
> worked for me. Hope it works for some of you.
>
> Lets put Prep H out of business!
>
> The Hammer
>
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Date: 09 Sep 2006 21:33:23
From: The Hammer
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
AKA Gray Asphalt wrote:
> Should the garlic be crushed or can I insert the entire glove, I mean clove?
>
In all seriousness, you can crush the clove and insert some small
crushed pieces for a few hours or insert a piece of a clove. And take
them out after a few hours
The Hammer
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Date: 10 Sep 2006 00:17:54
From: AKA Gray Asphalt
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
"The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com > wrote in message
news:1157862803.794633.80500@e3g2000cwe.googlegroups.com...
>
> AKA Gray Asphalt wrote:
>> Should the garlic be crushed or can I insert the entire glove, I mean
>> clove?
>>
> In all seriousness, you can crush the clove and insert some small
> crushed pieces for a few hours or insert a piece of a clove. And take
> them out after a few hours
>
> The Hammer
Is that all the Preparation you need?
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Date: 10 Sep 2006 23:49:57
From: Craig
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
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>> In all seriousness, you can crush the clove and insert some small
>> crushed pieces for a few hours or insert a piece of a clove. And take
>> them out after a few hours
>>
>> The Hammer
>
> Is that all the Preparation you need?
>
No, take a deep breath before inserting.
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Date: 09 Sep 2006 21:54:03
From: Alan Illeman
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
"The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com > wrote in message news:1157814402.138288.48770@m79g2000cwm.googlegroups.com...
> Have you ever been in a golf cart and went over a bimp and felt a pain
> that made you want to scream and yell every four letter word known to
> man. Well, I bet this has happened to more than one of you.
Where's the evidence that there's more than one of me?
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Date: 09 Sep 2006 15:26:20
From: AKA Gray Asphalt
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
Should the garlic be crushed or can I insert the entire glove, I mean clove?
"The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com > wrote in message
news:1157814402.138288.48770@m79g2000cwm.googlegroups.com...
> Have you ever been in a golf cart and went over a bimp and felt a pain
> that made you want to scream and yell every four letter word known to
> man. Well, I bet this has happened to more than one of you. It is
> called hemmorhoids. Something many of us have. Something that has
> ruined many a day. Something that has and can ruin many a round of
> golf. It can be embarassing to talk about, it really shouldn't.
> Almost everyone has at least one bout of these devils over the course
> of their life.
>
> Now I once had a bad case of hemmorhoids a while back. They bled so
> bad, I thought I was dying. I even named a golf tourament after them.
> And they came back every so often, but I am proud to say the little
> devils are gone and have been gone for the last year.
>
> Here is the answer. And this is 100% serious. The cure for me was
> given by a famous local alternative health practioner. I am not saying
> it will work for you, I am not prescibing this for any of you, as
> whatever you decide to do health wise is up to you and in consultation
> with health providers you trust. I am just telling you what worked
> for me and practically every patient this particular practioner treats.
>
> 1. Take potato peelings and place them on the affected area. Keep them
> there for several hours
>
> 2. Take fresh cut garlic, not the powdered stuff, and place them on
> the affected area. Keep it there for several hours
>
> 3. Garlic enemas. A teaspoon of garlic administered in a warm tap
> water emema
>
> 3. Vitamin E suppositories daily
>
> 4. High Fiber diet. Daily dose of Metamucil or Citracel
>
> 5. Warm tub baths daily
>
>
>
> One of my best friends had rhoids so bad, he was ready to give up all
> conventional remedies and go for surgery. I had him use this
> treatment, they are gone. I mean gone 100%
>
> So why go through life misireable. Why worry that your friend who is
> driving that cart might go over a bump. Why wonder if you take a hard
> swing, you are going to exacerbate the rhoid and have the sensation of
> a spike going up your tail. There are cures. There are surgical ones,
> and there are alternative ones. You don't have to be a victum to these
> hanging monsters anymore. I know it can be embarassing, this is one of
> those things folks don't want to admit or talk about. There are cures
> out there, you don't have to put up with this. I am giving you what
> worked for me. Hope it works for some of you.
>
> Lets put Prep H out of business!
>
> The Hammer
>
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Date: 10 Sep 2006 20:17:21
From: The Hammer
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
annika1980 wrote:
> The Hammer wrote:
> > Now I once had a bad case of hemmorhoids a while back. They bled so
> > bad, I thought I was dying. I even named a golf tourament after them.
> > And they came back every so often, but I am proud to say the little
> > devils are gone and have been gone for the last year.
> >
>
> They say hemmorhoids are like Yankees.
> If they come down and go back up, they're not a problem.
> But if they come down and stay down, they're just a pain in the ass!
>
> But enough about that crap.
> What I need is a cure for Shingles.
> I've had it bad in my shoulder for a few weeks now. The doc gave me
> Valtrex to cure the inflammation and it helped. However, the pain still
> persists and I'm getting tired of popping Hydrocodones like candy.
> Right now it feels like OJ is stabbing me in the front of my shoulder.
> You reckon potato skins would work on that?
I can contact my dor friend and get a recommendation if you like.
Email me, will be glad to help. Shingles is no bargain and the pain
can be a real downer
the Hammer
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Date: 10 Sep 2006 20:09:59
From: annika1980
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
The Hammer wrote:
> Now I once had a bad case of hemmorhoids a while back. They bled so
> bad, I thought I was dying. I even named a golf tourament after them.
> And they came back every so often, but I am proud to say the little
> devils are gone and have been gone for the last year.
>
They say hemmorhoids are like Yankees.
If they come down and go back up, they're not a problem.
But if they come down and stay down, they're just a pain in the ass!
But enough about that crap.
What I need is a cure for Shingles.
I've had it bad in my shoulder for a few weeks now. The doc gave me
Valtrex to cure the inflammation and it helped. However, the pain still
persists and I'm getting tired of popping Hydrocodones like candy.
Right now it feels like OJ is stabbing me in the front of my shoulder.
You reckon potato skins would work on that?
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Date: 11 Sep 2006 04:13:39
From: The poster formerly known as Colleyville Alan
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
"annika1980" <annika1980@aol.com > wrote in message
news:1157944199.153719.196610@d34g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...
>
> The Hammer wrote:
>> Now I once had a bad case of hemmorhoids a while back. They bled so
>> bad, I thought I was dying. I even named a golf tourament after them.
>> And they came back every so often, but I am proud to say the little
>> devils are gone and have been gone for the last year.
>>
>
> They say hemmorhoids are like Yankees.
> If they come down and go back up, they're not a problem.
> But if they come down and stay down, they're just a pain in the ass!
>
> But enough about that crap.
> What I need is a cure for Shingles.
> I've had it bad in my shoulder for a few weeks now. The doc gave me
> Valtrex to cure the inflammation and it helped. However, the pain still
> persists and I'm getting tired of popping Hydrocodones like candy.
> Right now it feels like OJ is stabbing me in the front of my shoulder.
>
> You reckon potato skins would work on that?
Yikes! Sorry to hear about the shingles, that's no fun at all.
p.s. With all of the trouble the arthritis in my neck has given me of late,
I could use some of those hydrocodone thingys, so if you are really tired of
them...
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Date: 10 Sep 2006 20:37:59
From: Bob Cotter
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
In article <1157944199.153719.196610@d34g2000cwd.googlegroups.com >,
"annika1980" <annika1980@aol.com > wrote:
> What I need is a cure for Shingles.
Hire a roofing contractor. Then, take a small hand axe to the old
shingles and use the kindling as a fire starter. Works great in the
Pacific Northwest.
Cheers... Bob
--
If replying by email, please remove the removes.
Visit my home course at <http://www.sunshinecoastgolf.com >
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Date: 10 Sep 2006 16:35:07
From: The Hammer
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
Big Clobby Bobber wrote:
> "The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:1157814402.138288.48770@m79g2000cwm.googlegroups.com...
> > Have you ever been in a golf cart and went over a bimp and felt a pain
> > that made you want to scream and yell every four letter word known to
> > man. Well, I bet this has happened to more than one of you. It is
> > called hemmorhoids. Something many of us have. Something that has
> > ruined many a day. Something that has and can ruin many a round of
> >
>
> When you walk into a room, do people say "Fuck You", and/or "shut the fuck
> up" to you, before you even open your pie hole?
>
> Do they speak of you as "that fucktard", behind your back?
>
All the time!!!
Great insight!
The Hammer
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Date: 11 Sep 2006 00:00:45
From: Tranny
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
And I thought I was the NG troll!
Tran
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Date: 10 Sep 2006 21:06:25
From: Big Clobby Bobber
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
"The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com > wrote in message
news:1157814402.138288.48770@m79g2000cwm.googlegroups.com...
> Have you ever been in a golf cart and went over a bimp and felt a pain
> that made you want to scream and yell every four letter word known to
> man. Well, I bet this has happened to more than one of you. It is
> called hemmorhoids. Something many of us have. Something that has
> ruined many a day. Something that has and can ruin many a round of
>
When you walk into a room, do people say "Fuck You", and/or "shut the fuck
up" to you, before you even open your pie hole?
Do they speak of you as "that fucktard", behind your back?
Hard to imagine it being otherwise.
--
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Date: 11 Sep 2006 09:03:32
From: Miss Anne Thrope
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
Hammer doesn't have hemmorhoids, he IS a hemmorhoid..............on the
turd cutter of humanity.
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Date: 11 Sep 2006 05:57:43
From:
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
The Hammer wrote:
> Have you ever been in a golf cart and went over a bimp and felt a pain
> that made you want to scream and yell every four letter word known to
> man. Well, I bet this has happened to more than one of you. It is
> called hemmorhoids. Something many of us have. Something that has
> ruined many a day. Something that has and can ruin many a round of
> golf. It can be embarassing to talk about, it really shouldn't.
> Almost everyone has at least one bout of these devils over the course
> of their life.
>
> Now I once had a bad case of hemmorhoids a while back. They bled so
> bad, I thought I was dying. I even named a golf tourament after them.
> And they came back every so often, but I am proud to say the little
> devils are gone and have been gone for the last year.
>
> Here is the answer. And this is 100% serious. The cure for me was
> given by a famous local alternative health practioner. I am not saying
> it will work for you, I am not prescibing this for any of you, as
> whatever you decide to do health wise is up to you and in consultation
> with health providers you trust. I am just telling you what worked
> for me and practically every patient this particular practioner treats.
>
> 1. Take potato peelings and place them on the affected area. Keep them
> there for several hours
>
> 2. Take fresh cut garlic, not the powdered stuff, and place them on
> the affected area. Keep it there for several hours
>
> 3. Garlic enemas. A teaspoon of garlic administered in a warm tap
> water emema
>
> 3. Vitamin E suppositories daily
>
> 4. High Fiber diet. Daily dose of Metamucil or Citracel
>
> 5. Warm tub baths daily
>
>
>
> One of my best friends had rhoids so bad, he was ready to give up all
> conventional remedies and go for surgery. I had him use this
> treatment, they are gone. I mean gone 100%
>
> So why go through life misireable. Why worry that your friend who is
> driving that cart might go over a bump. Why wonder if you take a hard
> swing, you are going to exacerbate the rhoid and have the sensation of
> a spike going up your tail. There are cures. There are surgical ones,
> and there are alternative ones. You don't have to be a victum to these
> hanging monsters anymore. I know it can be embarassing, this is one of
> those things folks don't want to admit or talk about. There are cures
> out there, you don't have to put up with this. I am giving you what
> worked for me. Hope it works for some of you.
>
> Lets put Prep H out of business!
>
> The Hammer
reminds me of a round at famed Harbourtown...ranger comes to speed us
up and buddy steps on gas as I sit down on cart and seat seamed to
bubble up in of all places,
result I thought I slipped a nut. had my hands in my pants rest of
round trying to get things normaled out.
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Date: 11 Sep 2006 15:21:48
From: Tom Yost
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
On 9 Sep 2006 08:06:42 -0700, "The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com > wrote:
>Have you ever been in a golf cart and went over a bimp and felt a pain
>that made you want to scream and yell every four letter word known to
>man. ...
"I was in the closet looking for miths and I got a bimp on my head..."
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| | |
Date: 11 Sep 2006 16:54:34
From: AKA Gray Asphalt
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
"Tom Yost" <tom@NOSPAM.com > wrote in message
news:q8obg2l4ddt9ts0vmj9rbbnrikqugtnt7t@4ax.com...
> On 9 Sep 2006 08:06:42 -0700, "The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>>Have you ever been in a golf cart and went over a bimp and felt a pain
>>that made you want to scream and yell every four letter word known to
>>man. ...
>
> "I was in the closet looking for miths and I got a bimp on my head..."
Can I get my prostrate checked while I'm shoving garlic? Why is that most
dors don't have "check prostrate through anal probe", at the top of their
list for a physical?
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Date: 11 Sep 2006 15:20:00
From: Tom Yost
Subject: Re: A very important golf related post
|
On 9 Sep 2006 08:06:42 -0700, "The Hammer" <buggertt@yahoo.com > wrote:
>... It is
>called hemmorhoids. ...
>
It's been said that if it weren't for hemmorhoids, I'd be a perfect
asshole!
Tom
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|
