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Date: 31 Mar 2007 16:24:06
From: Mike O'Sullivan
Subject: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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One of the funniest obits I've read: From the Daily Telegraph "Maurice Flitcroft, who died on ch 24 aged 77, was a chain-smoking shipyard crane- operator from Barrow-in-Furness whose persistent attempts to gatecrash the British Open golf championship produced a sense of humour failure among members of the golfing establishment. In 1976 the 46-year-old Flitcroft bought a half-set of mail order clubs and set his sights on finding "fame and fortune" by applying to play in the Birkdale Open "with Jack Nicklaus and all that lot". He prepared by studying a Peter Allis instruction manual borrowed from the local library and instructional articles by the 1966 PGA Championship winner Al Geiberger, honing his skills by hitting a ball about on a nearby beach. He obtained an entry form from an unsuspecting Royal and Ancient, which organises the championship, and, having no handicap to declare as an amateur, he picked the other option on the form: professional. Invited to play in the qualifier at Formby, he put in a performance which one witness described as a "blizzard of triple and quadruple bogeys ruined by a solitary par", achieving a total of 121 - 49 over par, the worst score recorded in the tournament's 141-year history. In fact, this was only a rough estimate, his ker having lost count on a couple of holes. His playing partner, Jim Howard, recalled his suspicions being aroused almost from the word go: "After gripping the club like he was intent on murdering someone, Flitcroft hoisted it straight up, came down vertically and the ball travelled precisely four feet," he said. "We put that one down to nerves, but after he shanked a second one we called the R&A officials." Under the rules of the tournament, however, nothing could be done. "It wasn't funny at the time," Howard recalled. Others demurred, and Flitcroft's performance dominated the next day's sports pages, while stars such as Jack Nicklaus found themselves relegated to the small print. Flitcroft was interviewed endlessly. The score, he maintained, "weren't a fair reflection" of his play. He had been suffering from "lumbago and fibrositis, but I don't want to make excuses", and he blamed the fact that he had left his four-wood in the car: "I was an expert with the four-wood, deadly accurate." When an enterprising journalist visited Flitcroft's mother and told her about her son's record-breaking performance, she asked: "Does that mean he's won?" When informed of the true state of affairs, she replied: "Well, he's got to start somewhere, hasn't he?" Furious that their game had been held up to ridicule, the R&A tightened the entry rules. The following year, when Flitcroft applied to play in the qualifying tournament, he received a letter from the R&A's secretary, Keith Mackenzie, informing him that he had been turned down on the ground that he had provided no proof of an improvement in his game. The letter sparked a prolonged correspondence, in the course of which Flitcroft challenged Mackenzie to a match at the Old Course to settle the debate about his golfing talents. Subsequently Flitcroft was banned from R&A tournaments for life. Refusing to be beaten, in 1978 he posed as an American professional named Gene Pacecki ("as in pay cheque", he explained helpfully) and blagged his way into the qualifier at South Herts, where he was detected after a few holes and bundled unceremoniously off the course. At a qualifier at Pleasington in 1983, he tried disguise, dyeing his hair, donning a false moustache and masquerading as Gerald Hoppy, a professional golfer from Switzerland. He fared rather better this time, playing nine holes and 63 strokes before officials realised that they had "another Maurice Flitcroft" on their hands. "Imagine their surprise when they discovered they had the actual Maurice Flitcroft," he said. In 1990 he entered the qualifier at Ormskirk as James Beau Jolley (as in Beaujolais), an American golf professional. He hit a double bogey at the first hole and a bogey at the second; he claimed to be "looking at a par" at the third before he was rudely interrupted by an R&A golf buggy which screeched to a halt in front of him. He remonstrated with the driver, asking to be allowed to finish the hole, but officials were not in the mood to show mercy. Nor did they return his £60 entry fee. Flitcroft never understood why the R&A was so upset. "I never set out to belittle them. Golf's just a game and I tried my best. What did they need to get so uptight about?" Maurice Gerald Flitcroft was born in Manchester on November 23 1929 and claimed to have been a talented schoolboy athlete. After leaving school he joined the Merchant Navy, then made a living as a high-diving comedy stunt man with a travelling theatre group. After his riage he moved to Barrow-in-Furness, where he became a crane operator at the Vickers Armstrong shipyard. He retired in the 1970s. Flitcroft's entryist assaults on the Open made him a cult figure in some golfing circles. He received mail from around the world addressed simply to Maurice Flitcroft, Golfer, England. A club in New York State named a trophy after him, and another in Michigan named a member-guest tournament in his honour, the event featuring a green with two holes to give the truly hopeless a sporting chance. In 1988, when Flitcroft was flown in as an honorary competitor at the event, he explained that it was the first time he and his wife had been out of the house together "since our gas oven exploded". His game seemed to have improved somewhat and he completed the course with a score in the low 90s. "I hit a lot of good shots," he claimed proudly. Though he was banned from playing on almost every course in Britain, in 1993 Flitcroft was permitted to play a round at a course at Windermere with The Daily Telegraph's golf correspondent Lewine Mair. Later he invoiced the newspaper for 12 lost balls. He enjoyed hitting a golf ball about on the beach until he broke his hip in 2001. Maurice Flitcroft's wife Jean died in 2002, and he is survived by their two sons and by two stepsons. The R&A refused to comment on his death, explaining that Flitcroft had only played in qualifiers".
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Date: 03 Apr 2007 09:56:12
From: Herbert
Subject: Re: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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On Apr 3, 6:25 am, "johnty" <john...@hotmail.com > wrote: > On 2 Apr, 20:03, "annika1980" <annika1...@aol.com> wrote: > > > On Apr 2, 12:37 pm, "\"R&B\"" <noneofyourbusin...@all.com> wrote: > > > > Maurice Flitcroft is my new hero. > > > > The next RSG-ATLANTA will most assuredly pay homage to him in some way. > > > Perhaps with a "Flitcroft Trophy" or something. > > > I was thinking the exact same thing. > > Of course, we could also award the Flitcroft Award to the person on > > RSG who talks the biggest game with the smallest ability to back it > > up. > > I know who would get my vote. > > Hint: it starts with L-A-R > > Lardass Randy Brown? That was uncalled for.
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Date: 03 Apr 2007 17:36:33
From: Bobby Knight
Subject: Re: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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On 3 Apr 2007 09:56:12 -0700, "Herbert" <humphrey_Herbert@yahoo.com > wrote: >On Apr 3, 6:25 am, "johnty" <john...@hotmail.com> wrote: >> On 2 Apr, 20:03, "annika1980" <annika1...@aol.com> wrote: >> >> > On Apr 2, 12:37 pm, "\"R&B\"" <noneofyourbusin...@all.com> wrote: >> >> > > Maurice Flitcroft is my new hero. >> >> > > The next RSG-ATLANTA will most assuredly pay homage to him in some way. >> > > Perhaps with a "Flitcroft Trophy" or something. >> >> > I was thinking the exact same thing. >> > Of course, we could also award the Flitcroft Award to the person on >> > RSG who talks the biggest game with the smallest ability to back it >> > up. >> > I know who would get my vote. >> > Hint: it starts with L-A-R >> >> Lardass Randy Brown? > >That was uncalled for. > Second day in a row that we've agreed Herb. ___, \o
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Date: 03 Apr 2007 04:25:00
From: johnty
Subject: Re: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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On 2 Apr, 20:03, "annika1980" <annika1...@aol.com > wrote: > On Apr 2, 12:37 pm, "\"R&B\"" <noneofyourbusin...@all.com> wrote: > > > Maurice Flitcroft is my new hero. > > > The next RSG-ATLANTA will most assuredly pay homage to him in some way. > > Perhaps with a "Flitcroft Trophy" or something. > > I was thinking the exact same thing. > Of course, we could also award the Flitcroft Award to the person on > RSG who talks the biggest game with the smallest ability to back it > up. > I know who would get my vote. > Hint: it starts with L-A-R Lardass Randy Brown? Sorry!
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Date: 04 Apr 2007 20:46:18
From: \R&B\
Subject: Re: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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"johnty" <johnty1@hotmail.com > wrote in message news:1175599495.263723.111420@y66g2000hsf.googlegroups.com... > On 2 Apr, 20:03, "annika1980" <annika1...@aol.com> wrote: >> On Apr 2, 12:37 pm, "\"R&B\"" <noneofyourbusin...@all.com> wrote: >> >> > Maurice Flitcroft is my new hero. >> >> > The next RSG-ATLANTA will most assuredly pay homage to him in some way. >> > Perhaps with a "Flitcroft Trophy" or something. >> >> I was thinking the exact same thing. >> Of course, we could also award the Flitcroft Award to the person on >> RSG who talks the biggest game with the smallest ability to back it >> up. >> I know who would get my vote. >> Hint: it starts with L-A-R > > Lardass Randy Brown? > > > > Sorry! Brilliant. If that's the best you could do for a witty comeback, my heart goes out to you. Lardass Randy Brown
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Date: 02 Apr 2007 12:14:12
From: Herbert
Subject: Re: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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On Apr 1, 12:15 am, MoiMoi <moi...@example.com > wrote: > In article <1175403228.969184.140...@y80g2000hsf.googlegroups.com>, > humphrey_Herb...@yahoo.com says... > > > That's a fun read...whether the truth or not. Wodehouse is smiling > > somewhere. Thanks. > > Absolutely true. Just Google him. > > Here's a pic:http://www.pga.info/Content/Images/Editorial/Golf/2006/JimHoward/Maur... > orhttp://tinyurl.com/yr4mc2 > > Note that name is misspelled both in this topic listing and even in the > pic url above. > > It's "Flitcroft". > > Here's a short interview/pic with him a year before he died:http://tinyurl.com/2hf8ag > That's outstanding. I didn't actually doubt he existed, it's just the way the story was told seemed a little too cute: "a blizzard of triple and quadruple bogeys ruined by a solitary par" .
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Date: 02 Apr 2007 20:16:43
From: MoiMoi
Subject: Re: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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In article <1175541252.814364.61810@n59g2000hsh.googlegroups.com >, humphrey_Herbert@yahoo.com says... > On Apr 1, 12:15 am, MoiMoi <moi...@example.com> wrote: > > In article <1175403228.969184.140...@y80g2000hsf.googlegroups.com>, > > humphrey_Herb...@yahoo.com says... > > > > > That's a fun read...whether the truth or not. Wodehouse is smiling > > > somewhere. Thanks. > > > > Absolutely true. Just Google him. > > > > Here's a pic:http://www.pga.info/Content/Images/Editorial/Golf/2006/JimHoward/Maur... > > orhttp://tinyurl.com/yr4mc2 > > > > Note that name is misspelled both in this topic listing and even in the > > pic url above. > > > > It's "Flitcroft". > > > > Here's a short interview/pic with him a year before he died:http://tinyurl.com/2hf8ag > > > > That's outstanding. I didn't actually doubt he existed, it's just the > way the story was told seemed a little too cute: "a blizzard of > triple and quadruple > bogeys ruined by a solitary par" And to top it off, one account says that two other "real" golfers in the grouping actually BOGYED that hole that MF parred. Which miffed them all the more. MM
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Date: 02 Apr 2007 12:03:15
From: annika1980
Subject: Re: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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On Apr 2, 12:37 pm, "\"R&B\"" <noneofyourbusin...@all.com > wrote: > Maurice Flitcroft is my new hero. > > The next RSG-ATLANTA will most assuredly pay homage to him in some way. > Perhaps with a "Flitcroft Trophy" or something. > I was thinking the exact same thing. Of course, we could also award the Flitcroft Award to the person on RSG who talks the biggest game with the smallest ability to back it up. I know who would get my vote. Hint: it starts with L-A-R
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Date: 02 Apr 2007 19:22:55
From: Bobby Knight
Subject: Re: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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On 2 Apr 2007 12:03:15 -0700, "annika1980" <annika1980@aol.com > wrote: >On Apr 2, 12:37 pm, "\"R&B\"" <noneofyourbusin...@all.com> wrote: >> Maurice Flitcroft is my new hero. >> >> The next RSG-ATLANTA will most assuredly pay homage to him in some way. >> Perhaps with a "Flitcroft Trophy" or something. >> > >I was thinking the exact same thing. >Of course, we could also award the Flitcroft Award to the person on >RSG who talks the biggest game with the smallest ability to back it >up. >I know who would get my vote. >Hint: it starts with L-A-R Never happen. We'd be able to see what that ability really is. ___, \o
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Date: 02 Apr 2007 13:37:26
From: \R&B\
Subject: Re: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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Maurice Flitcroft is my new hero. The next RSG-ATLANTA will most assuredly pay homage to him in some way. Perhaps with a "Flitcoft Trophy" or something. Randy "Mike O'Sullivan" <mike@nowhere.com > wrote in message news:577cpaF2c8uqmU1@mid.individual.net... > One of the funniest obits I've read: > > From the Daily Telegraph > > "Maurice Flitcroft, who died on ch 24 aged 77, was a chain-smoking > shipyard crane- operator from Barrow-in-Furness whose persistent attempts > to gatecrash the British Open golf championship produced a sense of humour > failure among members of the golfing establishment. > > In 1976 the 46-year-old Flitcroft bought a half-set of mail order clubs > and set his sights on finding "fame and fortune" by applying to play in > the Birkdale Open "with Jack Nicklaus and all that lot". He prepared by > studying a Peter Allis instruction manual borrowed from the local library > and instructional articles by the 1966 PGA Championship winner Al > Geiberger, honing his skills by hitting a ball about on a nearby beach. > > He obtained an entry form from an unsuspecting Royal and Ancient, which > organises the championship, and, having no handicap to declare as an > amateur, he picked the other option on the form: professional. > > Invited to play in the qualifier at Formby, he put in a performance which > one witness described as a "blizzard of triple and quadruple bogeys ruined > by a solitary par", achieving a total of 121 - 49 over par, the worst > score recorded in the tournament's 141-year history. In fact, this was > only a rough estimate, his ker having lost count on a couple of holes. > > His playing partner, Jim Howard, recalled his suspicions being aroused > almost from the word go: "After gripping the club like he was intent on > murdering someone, Flitcroft hoisted it straight up, came down vertically > and the ball travelled precisely four feet," he said. "We put that one > down to nerves, but after he shanked a second one we called the R&A > officials." Under the rules of the tournament, however, nothing could be > done. "It wasn't funny at the time," Howard recalled. > > Others demurred, and Flitcroft's performance dominated the next day's > sports pages, while stars such as Jack Nicklaus found themselves relegated > to the small print. Flitcroft was interviewed endlessly. The score, he > maintained, "weren't a fair reflection" of his play. He had been suffering > from "lumbago and fibrositis, but I don't want to make excuses", and he > blamed the fact that he had left his four-wood in the car: "I was an > expert with the four-wood, deadly accurate." > > When an enterprising journalist visited Flitcroft's mother and told her > about her son's record-breaking performance, she asked: "Does that mean > he's won?" When informed of the true state of affairs, she replied: "Well, > he's got to start somewhere, hasn't he?" > > Furious that their game had been held up to ridicule, the R&A tightened > the entry rules. The following year, when Flitcroft applied to play in the > qualifying tournament, he received a letter from the R&A's secretary, > Keith Mackenzie, informing him that he had been turned down on the ground > that he had provided no proof of an improvement in his game. > > The letter sparked a prolonged correspondence, in the course of which > Flitcroft challenged Mackenzie to a match at the Old Course to settle the > debate about his golfing talents. Subsequently Flitcroft was banned from > R&A tournaments for life. > > Refusing to be beaten, in 1978 he posed as an American professional named > Gene Pacecki ("as in pay cheque", he explained helpfully) and blagged his > way into the qualifier at South Herts, where he was detected after a few > holes and bundled unceremoniously off the course. At a qualifier at > Pleasington in 1983, he tried disguise, dyeing his hair, donning a false > moustache and masquerading as Gerald Hoppy, a professional golfer from > Switzerland. He fared rather better this time, playing nine holes and 63 > strokes before officials realised that they had "another Maurice > Flitcroft" on their hands. "Imagine their surprise when they discovered > they had the actual Maurice Flitcroft," he said. > > In 1990 he entered the qualifier at Ormskirk as James Beau Jolley (as in > Beaujolais), an American golf professional. He hit a double bogey at the > first hole and a bogey at the second; he claimed to be "looking at a par" > at the third before he was rudely interrupted by an R&A golf buggy which > screeched to a halt in front of him. He remonstrated with the driver, > asking to be allowed to finish the hole, but officials were not in the > mood to show mercy. Nor did they return his £60 entry fee. > > Flitcroft never understood why the R&A was so upset. "I never set out to > belittle them. Golf's just a game and I tried my best. What did they need > to get so uptight about?" > > Maurice Gerald Flitcroft was born in Manchester on November 23 1929 and > claimed to have been a talented schoolboy athlete. After leaving school he > joined the Merchant Navy, then made a living as a high-diving comedy stunt > man with a travelling theatre group. After his riage he moved to > Barrow-in-Furness, where he became a crane operator at the Vickers > Armstrong shipyard. He retired in the 1970s. > > Flitcroft's entryist assaults on the Open made him a cult figure in some > golfing circles. He received mail from around the world addressed simply > to Maurice Flitcroft, Golfer, England. > > A club in New York State named a trophy after him, and another in Michigan > named a member-guest tournament in his honour, the event featuring a green > with two holes to give the truly hopeless a sporting chance. In 1988, when > Flitcroft was flown in as an honorary competitor at the event, he > explained that it was the first time he and his wife had been out of the > house together "since our gas oven exploded". His game seemed to have > improved somewhat and he completed the course with a score in the low 90s. > "I hit a lot of good shots," he claimed proudly. > > Though he was banned from playing on almost every course in Britain, in > 1993 Flitcroft was permitted to play a round at a course at Windermere > with The Daily Telegraph's golf correspondent Lewine Mair. Later he > invoiced the newspaper for 12 lost balls. He enjoyed hitting a golf ball > about on the beach until he broke his hip in 2001. > > Maurice Flitcroft's wife Jean died in 2002, and he is survived by their > two sons and by two stepsons. The R&A refused to comment on his death, > explaining that Flitcroft had only played in qualifiers".
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Date: 31 Mar 2007 21:53:49
From: Herbert
Subject: Re: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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That's a fun read...whether the truth or not. Wodehouse is smiling somewhere. Thanks. On 31, 10:24 am, Mike O'Sullivan <m...@nowhere.com > wrote: > One of the funniest obits I've read: > > From the Daily Telegraph > > "Maurice Flitcroft, who died on ch 24 aged 77, was a chain-smoking > shipyard crane- operator from Barrow-in-Furness whose persistent > attempts to gatecrash the British Open golf championship produced a > sense of humour failure among members of the golfing establishment. > > In 1976 the 46-year-old Flitcroft bought a half-set of mail order clubs > and set his sights on finding "fame and fortune" by applying to play in > the Birkdale Open "with Jack Nicklaus and all that lot". He prepared by > studying a Peter Allis instruction manual borrowed from the local > library and instructional articles by the 1966 PGA Championship winner > Al Geiberger, honing his skills by hitting a ball about on a nearby beach. > > He obtained an entry form from an unsuspecting Royal and Ancient, which > organises the championship, and, having no handicap to declare as an > amateur, he picked the other option on the form: professional. > > Invited to play in the qualifier at Formby, he put in a performance > which one witness described as a "blizzard of triple and quadruple > bogeys ruined by a solitary par", achieving a total of 121 - 49 over > par, the worst score recorded in the tournament's 141-year history. In > fact, this was only a rough estimate, his ker having lost count on a > couple of holes. > > His playing partner, Jim Howard, recalled his suspicions being aroused > almost from the word go: "After gripping the club like he was intent on > murdering someone, Flitcroft hoisted it straight up, came down > vertically and the ball travelled precisely four feet," he said. "We put > that one down to nerves, but after he shanked a second one we called the > R&A officials." Under the rules of the tournament, however, nothing > could be done. "It wasn't funny at the time," Howard recalled. > > Others demurred, and Flitcroft's performance dominated the next day's > sports pages, while stars such as Jack Nicklaus found themselves > relegated to the small print. Flitcroft was interviewed endlessly. The > score, he maintained, "weren't a fair reflection" of his play. He had > been suffering from "lumbago and fibrositis, but I don't want to make > excuses", and he blamed the fact that he had left his four-wood in the > car: "I was an expert with the four-wood, deadly accurate." > > When an enterprising journalist visited Flitcroft's mother and told her > about her son's record-breaking performance, she asked: "Does that mean > he's won?" When informed of the true state of affairs, she replied: > "Well, he's got to start somewhere, hasn't he?" > > Furious that their game had been held up to ridicule, the R&A tightened > the entry rules. The following year, when Flitcroft applied to play in > the qualifying tournament, he received a letter from the R&A's > secretary, Keith Mackenzie, informing him that he had been turned down > on the ground that he had provided no proof of an improvement in his game. > > The letter sparked a prolonged correspondence, in the course of which > Flitcroft challenged Mackenzie to a match at the Old Course to settle > the debate about his golfing talents. Subsequently Flitcroft was banned > from R&A tournaments for life. > > Refusing to be beaten, in 1978 he posed as an American professional > named Gene Pacecki ("as in pay cheque", he explained helpfully) and > blagged his way into the qualifier at South Herts, where he was detected > after a few holes and bundled unceremoniously off the course. At a > qualifier at Pleasington in 1983, he tried disguise, dyeing his hair, > donning a false moustache and masquerading as Gerald Hoppy, a > professional golfer from Switzerland. He fared rather better this time, > playing nine holes and 63 strokes before officials realised that they > had "another Maurice Flitcroft" on their hands. "Imagine their surprise > when they discovered they had the actual Maurice Flitcroft," he said. > > In 1990 he entered the qualifier at Ormskirk as James Beau Jolley (as in > Beaujolais), an American golf professional. He hit a double bogey at the > first hole and a bogey at the second; he claimed to be "looking at a > par" at the third before he was rudely interrupted by an R&A golf buggy > which screeched to a halt in front of him. He remonstrated with the > driver, asking to be allowed to finish the hole, but officials were not > in the mood to show mercy. Nor did they return his =A360 entry fee. > > Flitcroft never understood why the R&A was so upset. "I never set out to > belittle them. Golf's just a game and I tried my best. What did they > need to get so uptight about?" > > Maurice Gerald Flitcroft was born in Manchester on November 23 1929 and > claimed to have been a talented schoolboy athlete. After leaving school > he joined the Merchant Navy, then made a living as a high-diving comedy > stunt man with a travelling theatre group. After his riage he moved > to Barrow-in-Furness, where he became a crane operator at the Vickers > Armstrong shipyard. He retired in the 1970s. > > Flitcroft's entryist assaults on the Open made him a cult figure in some > golfing circles. He received mail from around the world addressed simply > to Maurice Flitcroft, Golfer, England. > > A club in New York State named a trophy after him, and another in > Michigan named a member-guest tournament in his honour, the event > featuring a green with two holes to give the truly hopeless a sporting > chance. In 1988, when Flitcroft was flown in as an honorary competitor > at the event, he explained that it was the first time he and his wife > had been out of the house together "since our gas oven exploded". His > game seemed to have improved somewhat and he completed the course with a > score in the low 90s. "I hit a lot of good shots," he claimed proudly. > > Though he was banned from playing on almost every course in Britain, in > 1993 Flitcroft was permitted to play a round at a course at Windermere > with The Daily Telegraph's golf correspondent Lewine Mair. Later he > invoiced the newspaper for 12 lost balls. He enjoyed hitting a golf ball > about on the beach until he broke his hip in 2001. > > Maurice Flitcroft's wife Jean died in 2002, and he is survived by their > two sons and by two stepsons. The R&A refused to comment on his death, > explaining that Flitcroft had only played in qualifiers".
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Date: 01 Apr 2007 01:15:27
From: MoiMoi
Subject: Re: Maurice Flicroft R.I.P
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In article <1175403228.969184.140960@y80g2000hsf.googlegroups.com >, humphrey_Herbert@yahoo.com says... > That's a fun read...whether the truth or not. Wodehouse is smiling > somewhere. Thanks. Absolutely true. Just Google him. Here's a pic: http://www.pga.info/Content/Images/Editorial/Golf/2006/JimHoward/MauriceFlintcroft.jpg or http://tinyurl.com/yr4mc2 Note that name is misspelled both in this topic listing and even in the pic url above. It's "Flitcroft". Here's a short interview/pic with him a year before he died: http://tinyurl.com/2hf8ag MM
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