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Date: 30 Dec 2006 09:50:52
From: annika1980
Subject: Finish the Joke !
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So Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein, and James Brown arrive at the Pearly
Gates .....
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Date: 08 Jan 2007 11:30:14
From: ritpg
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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Greg,
I agree it's a real dumb joke but for some reason, it keeps coming up.
I also agree that "chewed" does sound better lyically but consider the
following:
Chatt-a-noo-ga choo-chho
Cat-that-gnawed-your new shoes.
Dene wrote:
> ritpg wrote:
> > I think you mean, "pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that gnawed your new
> > shoes?". It's a take of on an old lyric, "pardon me, boys, is that the
> > Chattanooga choo choo". A very dumb joke that I attempted to repeat
> > just this past weekend.
>
> That be the same dumb joke. Only reason I remember it is because the
> teller (my boss at the time) told it a hundred times.
>
> But he used "chewed" instead of "gnawed." I think "chewed" sounds
> better, lyrically.
>
> (grrrrrrr...........guess what tune is running through my head). Must
> be a Tenn. curse.
>
> -Greg
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Date: 03 Jan 2007 14:31:17
From: Dene
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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ritpg wrote:
> I think you mean, "pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that gnawed your new
> shoes?". It's a take of on an old lyric, "pardon me, boys, is that the
> Chattanooga choo choo". A very dumb joke that I attempted to repeat
> just this past weekend.
That be the same dumb joke. Only reason I remember it is because the
teller (my boss at the time) told it a hundred times.
But he used "chewed" instead of "gnawed." I think "chewed" sounds
better, lyrically.
(grrrrrrr...........guess what tune is running through my head). Must
be a Tenn. curse.
-Greg
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Date: 03 Jan 2007 11:57:07
From: ritpg
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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I think you mean, "pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that gnawed your new
shoes?". It's a take of on an old lyric, "pardon me, boys, is that the
Chattanooga choo choo". A very dumb joke that I attempted to repeat
just this past weekend.
Dene wrote:
> Steven Paul wrote:
> > In article <1167501052.439768.316000@k21g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
> > annika1980 <annika1980@aol.com> wrote:
> >
> > > So Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein, and James Brown arrive at the Pearly
> > > Gates .....
> > >
> >
> > Brown says "Look at all them virgins."
> > Saddam says "I believe those are for me."
> > And Ford says...something really clever that I haven't thought of yet,
> > but I'm sure it involves pardoning Nixon in some way.
>
> And Ford says, "Been there, done that., which is why I waited until 35
> to get ried."
>
> Let me go first.........
>
> Boooooo!
>
> The only pardon line I can think of is....
>
> "pardon me Roy,
> is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"
>
> -Greg
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Date: 31 Dec 2006 16:38:58
From: Robert Hamilton
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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annika1980 wrote:
> So Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein, and James Brown arrive at the Pearly
> Gates .....
James Brown isn't going to let "the man" tell him what is a sin and what
is not a sin.
Saddam Hussein knows he is the only true head of state.
Gerald Ford says forgive and move on.
James Brown doesn't understand why it's so hot.
Saddam Hussein doesn't understand why he is being accosted by 70
aggressive female mountain gorillas.
Gerald Ford doesn't understand how he is suddenly a scratch golfer, let
alone can again play his best football again.
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Date: 30 Dec 2006 21:42:02
From: aeiouy
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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"annika1980" <annika1980@aol.com > wrote in message
news:1167501052.439768.316000@k21g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> So Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein, and James Brown arrive at the Pearly
> Gates .....
>
St. Peter looks at them for a moment and says "Hmmm...the godfather of
soul, an evil despot and an ex-president...what is this some kind of joke?"
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Date: 30 Dec 2006 23:19:42
From: annika1980
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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Alternate ending:
James Brown says, "I'm gonna get that palace. I was here first."
Saddam says, "Well, pardon me."
Ford says, "Done."
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Date: 31 Dec 2006 13:36:25
From: MoiMoi
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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In article <1167549582.257451.222030@h40g2000cwb.googlegroups.com >,
annika1980@aol.com says...
>
> Alternate ending:
> James Brown says, "I'm gonna get that palace. I was here first."
> Saddam says, "Well, pardon me."
> Ford says, "Done."
Oooo, maybe better!
But not about golf :-)
MM
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Date: 30 Dec 2006 23:12:02
From: annika1980
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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MoiMoi wrote:
> Ford simply says, "ever seen me play 18 in a pro-am crowded with
> spectators?"
> Ole Scratch shivers, hands him a key, says, "Here Jerry, you can share
> MY place."
Pretty good. Bob Hope would've enjoyed that one.
One time Hope said, "There are 23 golf course in Palm Springs. Pres.
Ford doesn't know which one he's playing until he hits his first tee
shot."
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Date: 30 Dec 2006 22:18:43
From: Dene
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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annika1980 wrote:
> The Pearly Gates open and a huge staircase unfolds leading to a mansion
> on a hill.
>
> Saddam says, "That mansion must be for me. It looks like one of my
> palaces."
> James Brown says, "No baby, that's for me. Papa's got a brand new
> crib."
>
> Ford says, "Just my fuckin luck ..... stairs!"
Dang funny!
You rule! (this year).
-Greg
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Date: 30 Dec 2006 22:16:44
From: Dene
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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Steven Paul wrote:
> In article <1167501052.439768.316000@k21g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
> annika1980 <annika1980@aol.com> wrote:
>
> > So Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein, and James Brown arrive at the Pearly
> > Gates .....
> >
>
> Brown says "Look at all them virgins."
> Saddam says "I believe those are for me."
> And Ford says...something really clever that I haven't thought of yet,
> but I'm sure it involves pardoning Nixon in some way.
And Ford says, "Been there, done that., which is why I waited until 35
to get ried."
Let me go first.........
Boooooo!
The only pardon line I can think of is....
"pardon me Roy,
is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"
-Greg
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Date: 31 Dec 2006 05:34:11
From: Lopez Gomez
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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"annika1980" <annika1980@aol.com > wrote in
news:1167501052.439768.316000@k21g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> So Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein, and James Brown arrive at the Pearly
> Gates .....
>
Ford immediately grants Saddam a full and unconditional pardon for any and
all past crimes. Meanwhile, Hussein and Brown get into an argument as to
which of the two of them is the better hung...
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Date: 30 Dec 2006 21:26:15
From: annika1980
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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The Pearly Gates open and a huge staircase unfolds leading to a mansion
on a hill.
Saddam says, "That mansion must be for me. It looks like one of my
palaces."
James Brown says, "No baby, that's for me. Papa's got a brand new
crib."
Ford says, "Just my fuckin luck ..... stairs!"
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Date: 31 Dec 2006 00:49:55
From: MoiMoi
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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In article <1167542775.165852.78540@i12g2000cwa.googlegroups.com >,
annika1980@aol.com says...
> The Pearly Gates open and a huge staircase unfolds leading to a mansion
> on a hill.
>
> Saddam says, "That mansion must be for me. It looks like one of my
> palaces."
> James Brown says, "No baby, that's for me. Papa's got a brand new
> crib."
>
> Ford says, "Just my fuckin luck ..... stairs!"
Not bad, not bad at all.
A better wit can probably refine this, but how 'bout something like:
All three arrive at the Final Accounting.
Satan meets them, says that Heaven is full, so might as well be big man
in hell rather than peon in heaven anyway. Asks them to account for who
did the most damage in life.
Brown touts his drug abuse, wife abuse, gun charges, police chases,
financial dealings. Devil says, "not too shoddy, here's a nice little
rancher out in Hell's suburbs."
Sadaam tells of the millions he tortured and killed. Satan: "Wow, now
that's more like it" and shows him into a big-ass split-level about a
block from center of Helltown.
Ford simply says, "ever seen me play 18 in a pro-am crowded with
spectators?"
Ole Scratch shivers, hands him a key, says, "Here Jerry, you can share
MY place."
(so gimme a break, at least it's on-topic for RSG)
MM
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Date: 31 Dec 2006 04:08:17
From: lynx
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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annika1980 wrote:
> So Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein, and James Brown arrive at the Pearly
> Gates .....
>
Ford says: "At least I'm not here by accident"
Brown says: "Where's the bar?"
Saddam says: "It was a sham trial. I want a lawyer!"
God says: "Fair go mate. Do you know how hard it is to find a lawyer up
here!"
--
rgds,
Pete
=====
http://pw352.blogspot.com/
'Press any key to continue, or any other key to quit... '
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Date: 31 Dec 2006 15:39:17
From: Ben Ho
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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and God says "by the way What's the difference between a Lawyer and a
Rooster?................
a Rooster clucks defiance.
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Date: 30 Dec 2006 16:14:09
From: Steven Paul
Subject: Re: Finish the Joke !
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In article <1167501052.439768.316000@k21g2000cwa.googlegroups.com >,
annika1980 <annika1980@aol.com > wrote:
> So Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein, and James Brown arrive at the Pearly
> Gates .....
>
Brown says "Look at all them virgins."
Saddam says "I believe those are for me."
And Ford says...something really clever that I haven't thought of yet,
but I'm sure it involves pardoning Nixon in some way.
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